The InBetween
by SlayerKitty00
Summary: Angel calls and asks Buffy to L.A. She drags Willow and Spike on a two day trip full of surprsises.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Thanks to M, my beta for this story. This story is complete, and I've decided it's good enough for public view. Since it's complete, I'll be putting parts up fairly often. It's not that long, so it shouldn't be a huge thing. I haven't forgotten about The Link and the Barrier, my other story. It's just that my beta for that story disappeared off the face of the planet, and I haven't been able to get another one. I'm writing away at it though, so there will be more soon. This story takes place during the midseason breaks of Buffy, Season 6 and Angel, Season 3. It's meant to act as a filler...everything that happened in eps 1-10 of both seasons happened in this story. Everything that happened in eps 11-22 of both seasons will not be affected by this story. :)  
  
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Buffy lay in her bed, trying to ignore the smell of garlic. She had placed several strands of the smelly herb around her room. She would probably carry the odor of it for weeks. Buffy sighed. She had put up the strands knowing it would keep Spike out. What she hadn't counted on was how much she wanted him there. With her. In her bed. Stop that! She mentally berated herself. You don't need Spike, her brain reminded her. It failed. She was going crazy, trying to stay away from him. Disgruntled, Buffy sat up in her bed. She was startled when the phone began to ring. After it was apparent no one else in the house was going to answer, Buffy picked up the phone in her room.  
  
"Hello?" Buffy answered.  
  
"Buffy...It's me." Angel replied.  
  
"Angel." Buffy said. She was immediately flooded with guilt.  
  
"Listen. I need your help. How soon can you be in LA?" He asked, getting straight to the point of his call. He wanted to get back to his son.  
  
"Look, Angel....Now is not really a good time. Willow and Dawn are having problems, and Dawn can't miss anymore school. Xander can't miss work, and Anya can't leave the store now that Giles isn't here." Buffy protested.  
  
"I wouldn't..."Angel began, then stopped. "Where did Giles go?" He asked instead.  
  
"He left." Buffy said, her teeth clenched. Judging from her tone, Angel felt it was best to change the subject.  
  
"I wouldn't call if it wasn't important." He picked up his earlier sentence, trying to convince her.  
  
"What's so important I have to go all the way to LA ?" Buffy questioned.  
  
"It's kinda one of those things you have to see to believe." Angel answered. Buffy shrugged, then realized that Angel couldn't see the shrug through the phone line. She sighed.  
  
"All right. I'll come. I'll see if Willow can come with me." Buffy gave in.  
  
"Good. I'll see you as soon as you get here." Angel said, and hung up. Buffy glanced at the phone in her hand and sighed again.  
  
"No rest for the weary." She remarked to the empty room. Grabbing her overnight bag, she began tossing things into it.  
  
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After packing, she went into Willow's room, hoping her friend was still awake.  
  
"Will?" Buffy whispered.  
  
"I'm awake Buffy." Willow answered, speaking in a normal tone.  
  
"Angel called." Buffy said, perching on the bed next to Willow. Willow's eyebrows raised in response, but she didn't say anything. "He wants....needs me to go to LA I'm going to leave Dawn at Xander and Anya's. I was hoping you would go with me." She finished.  
  
"I dunno, Buffy." Willow replied.  
  
"Please Will? It'll be a good change of pace." Buffy pleaded. Plus it will give us a chance to reconnect, she thought to herself. Willow nodded, finally giving in.  
  
"But we should bring Spike along with us." Willow mandated. Buffy was about to protest when Willow continued. "I don't want to be a burden, Buffy. I can't use magic. We should bring him along in case we run into any nasties. Besides, we can take his car." Willow finished. Buffy finally agreed. Willow got out of bed slowly, feeling exhausted. "You go get Spike. I'm going to pack and call Xander. We can drop Dawn off at his place before we leave town." Willow said.  
  
"Right. Get Spike." Buffy replied. It was the last thing she wanted to do. And the only thing she wanted to do. She was this close to ripping out her hair.  
  
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Angel and Cordelia struggled to open the doors to Angel Investigations. Cordy was holding Connor, and several shopping bags. Angel was carring a playpen and some more shopping bags. They both were laughing at their efforts. Finally, Angel yanked the door open.  
  
Fred was behind the counter, and walked around when Cordy and Angel were all the way inside the spacious lobby. Immediately, she took Conner from Cordy, and started talking to him. Cordelia took her bags and headed for the kitchen. Alerted by the noise coming from the lobby, Wesley and Gunn came out of Wesley's office to see what was going on. Big mistake. Angel set them to the task of taking the playpen out and setting it up. Both made attempts to complain, but were silenced with a look. Lorne came downstairs, dressed in one of his brightly colored suits. Taking in the suit, Cordy blinked.  
  
"New suit?" She asked. Lorne nodded.  
  
"What do you think?" He asked.  
  
"Well, I think that if all of LA lost power, you'd still be able to stop traffic." She answered, a smile on her face.  
  
"That was the point, princess." Lorne replied.  
  
"But it looks good." She continued, not wanting to hurt his feelings. She gave him a sheepish grin. He smiled back, and headed into the lobby.  
  
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On the road, Buffy was silent. Spike was breaking every traffic law there could possibly be, but she wasn't paying attention. She was in the back, after convincing Willow to take the front. Her reasoning was that the seat reclined, and Willow could get some sleep while they traveled. Spike had yet to speak to her since Willow had dozed off. Buffy sank further into theseat. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be at home. In her bed. With Spike. At that thought, she sat up ramrod straight. What was wrong with her?  
  
Spike smothered another chuckle. He was getting to her. His main reason for not speaking to Buffy was so that their arguing wouldn't wake Red. He knew if he opened his mouth, they'd have a fight. So once Red had fallen asleep, he'd kept his mouth shut. She would have to speak to him first.  
  
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"I should have never come down." Lorne said. Wes and Gunn were trying to rope him into helping with the playpen. Thankfully, he excused himself, reasoning that he had to visit a client. The duo was left staring quizically at the box. Angel came out of the kitchen and went over to where Fred was standing with Conner.  
  
"Help me change his diaper?" Angel asked. Fred nodded. She quickly grabbed a diaper, and wipes from one of the shopping bags still in the lobby. A shout from the lobby startled the pair.  
  
"We've done it!" Gunn crowed.  
  
"That's great you guys." Cordy said, coming in from the kitchen.  
  
"We've opened the box!" Wesley replied, excited. Cordelia rolled her eyes as she watched the two men try to figure out how get the play pen to unfold. Fred and Angel came back into the room, just as Cordelia had had enough. Exasperated, she stepped between the two males, and after just a minute had the playpen unfolded. Angel carried Conner over, and laid him inside. Both Fred and Angel were trying to smother their laughter. Cordelia pushed the playpen into Wesley's office, where it would be close by, but out of the way. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
Buffy stared at the gigantic building with dread in her stomach. She didn't want to go in.  
  
"You ok, Slayer?" Spike asked, finally breaking the silence. He glanced in the car. Willow was still asleep. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to get himself into this, but ever since the other night, he figured Buffy could ask him to do the impossible, and he would do it just for her.  
  
"I'm fine." Buffy replied.  
  
"Well, you don't look fine." He said sharply. Then, sympathetic, he continued. "We don't have to do this." He wasn't looking forward to seeing the poof either.  
  
"Yes we do." Before she could change her mind, she pulled the front door to the hotel open, and walked in. It was like time just stopped. Everyone in the lobby froze, staring at her. Cordelia broke the silence.  
  
"Oh my god! Buffy!" She exclaimed, rushing to give the girl an awkward hug. "It's good to see you." she finished. Stepping back, Cordelia took in the girl standing before her. Before she could comment, her attention was drawn by the door of the hotel opening a second time. Spike entered first, carrying three bags in one hand. His other was supporting Willow,who looked so fragile it was as if she would topple over at any second. Buffy took in Spike's unspoken cue, and went to Willow's other side. Together, they helped the redhead to the couch. The dark circles under Willow's eyes were evident to all in the room. What wasn't exactly clear was why Spike was even there to begin with. "Can I just say...huh?" Cordelia spoke up.  
  
"Spike, why don't you go get the rest of our things, while I get Willow settled?" Buffy suggested. They had both noticed the tension in the room since he had walked in.  
  
"Buffy? Stake? Vampire? Hello? Why isn't he dead yet?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"Becuase he can't hurt anyone. A government group that was in Sunnydale captured him, and installed a chip in his head. Anytime he hurts a human, he gets searing a pain in his skull." Buffy explained. Less of course that human is me, she finished in her head. If she was even still human.  
  
"We still do stake vampires around here, don't we? Because I'm beginning to wonder." Gunn commented. Spike picked this moment to come back inside, carrying two more bags. He set them near the first three. One was Spike', but the other four belonged to Willow and Buffy. The Slayer and friends never traveled with all the ameneties, and a large selection of weapons.  
  
Buffy, Willow, Spike, this is Gunn. And this is Fred. You all remember Wesley, right?" Cordelia began the introductions. Buffy nodded at Wesley, and smiled at the brunette Cordy had called Fred. And people thought she had weird name.  
  
Buffy, I could use some sleep." Willow whispered, her eyes barely staying open.  
  
On it, Will." She anwered, turning to the one person who hadn't said a word since she'd walked in. Their conversation in the fall had cleared up somethings between them, but it was still awkward to see him standing there.  
  
"Angel?" She asked.  
  
"I'll show you where your rooms are." Cordelia offerred. Angel looked grateful. Buffy nodded, put one arm under Willow, and helped the girl stand. They started up the stairs, following Cordy, when Buffy stopped and spoke to Spike over her shoulder.  
  
"Spike, could you get our bags and carry them up?" She asked. He glared at her, but didn't say anything until she was out of sight.  
  
"What am I, her soddin' whipping boy?" He muttered, grabbing all five of the bags. He headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time. The lobby was silent for a moment. Then Angel began gathering the shopping bags with Conner's things in them.  
  
"Wes, Gunn. Help me get this stuff upstairs?" He asked. The three men began gathering the bags, leaving Fred to watch over the baby.  
  
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	2. Secrets Revealed

A/N: Many thanks to M for beta-ing this story for me. She's a goddess. I forgot in my last part to mention that this is definitly a Buffy/Spike story, but no other pairings are really mentioned. Thanks for all the lovely feedback. I squealed with 'geeker-joy' when I checked my email and found 4 reviews waiting for me. I hope you guys keep reading. You made my day. Onto Chapter 2.  
  
Cordelia, Spike and Buffy came downstairs shortly after. The four of them stood around awkwardly, until Fred broke the silence.  
  
"What was it like to be dead?" Fred asked innocently, her southern drawl evident. "You see, I have this theory, that when you die it's like..."Fred trailed off, the last words of her sentence muffled by Cordelia's hand covering her mouth. Buffy paled, causing Spike to look concerned and Cordelia to look horrified. Recovering, Buffy turned to Fred.  
  
"It's ok." Buffy said, once she had settled on the couch. Spike leaned against the counter, his eyes never leaving the slayer. Cordelia let go of Fred's mouth, and slumped next to Buffy.  
  
"It was nice. Peaceful. No worries. No problems. No sadness. No pain." Buffy began explaining. As she spoke, she teared up, and abruptly stood and walked out the front door. Cordelia had her hand to her mouth, trying not to cry herself. Spike quickly followed after Buffy. No one had seen Angel on the stairs, listening to their conversation.  
  
"She told me she'd been in Hell." He whispered, looking at Wesley, who had come up behind him. He too had heard what Buffy had said.  
  
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Outside, Buffy was learning against the building, the brick wall catching the fuzzies on her sweater. Spike came out a second after her, and didn't say a thing. He attempted to pull her to him, but she resisted. After a moment, he won, and she rested against him.  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" He asked earnestly. She looked up at him, and then stepped out of his arms.  
  
"Haven't you done enough?" She said snidely, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Buffy sighed, and opened the door. Disappearing inside, she left Spike standing there. A hurt look was in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with the anger that always seemed to be just below the surface when ever Buffy was around.  
  
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Angel was checking on Conner and still debating on how to break the news to her. He was extremely thrown by what he had over heard, and was planning to confront her about it also. Angel couldn't believe she would lie to him, about something like that, of all things. Conner was still sleeping, so Angel left him and went back into the lobby. Buffy was standing there, looking sheepish.  
  
"Angel." She said, catching sight of him. Cordelia and Fred were no where to be seen. Buffy assumed they had gone upstairs.  
  
"Buffy. Look, there's something I really should talk to you about." Angel began. He didn't get any further, because Cordelia chose that moment to come back downstairs and interrupt.  
  
"Listen, Buffy. Willow's already got her room. Do you want to be next door or across the hall? And where to you want him to sleep?" She asked, gesturing to Spike, who had just walked in.  
  
"Next door is fine." Buffy answered.  
  
"What about Spike?" Cordelia asked again.  
  
"What about him?" Buffy answered the question with a question. Both Angel and Cordelia were surprised. From the way they had acted when they got there, both had assumed that the two got along well enough.  
  
"Where should he sleep?" Cordelia asked for the third time.  
  
"Yeah, Slayer. Where should I sleep?" Spike taunted Buffy.  
  
"We are not going to do this here." Buffy hissed, turning so she faced Spike.  
  
"Why not? Good a place as any. Probably has studier walls." He replied, smirking. Buffy flushed to the roots of her hair, and Spike knew he'd gotten to her.  
  
"I refuse to do this." Buffy spat out. "Not here, not now, and never again." She said, her voice venomous. Neither Angel or Cordelia had seen the slayer quite like this before.  
  
"Tell me another one. It isn't like you haven't said that before. Maybe if you keep repeating it you'll convince yourself." Spike countered.  
  
"Screw you, Spike!" Buffy screamed, anger and frustration evident in her voice. She turned to walk away. He grabbed her by the arm roughly and whirled her around so she was facing him. Angel moved as if to interfere, but Cordelia stopped him. She didn't know what was going on between Spike and Buffy, but she knew that Angel didn't need to get caught in the middle.  
  
"We already played that game, luv. Now we're playing a new one. With my rules." Spike spoke, his voice dangerously low and his face inches from Buffy's. All the color drained from her face. Even angrier, Buffy punched Spike. "What? You want another go?" He asked shamelessly. Buffy hit him again, harder this time. "Time for another round of kick the Spike? If I recall correctly, luv, the last time we played this game, you got all hot and bothered." Spike revealed. Buffy took one last shot at him, hitting him with all the power she could muster. Spike flew back into the door, and landed hard. He began trying to get up, laughing a little. The room was silent. Suddenly, a baby's loud wail pierced the silence.  
  
"I'll get him." Cordelia said, eyeing the trio. Angel looked like someone had stabbed him in the chest. Cordelia went into Wesley's office quickly, and picked up Connor carefully. Grabbing a diaper, she changed him on Wesley's desk.  
  
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In the lobby, Angel was the first to speak.  
  
"You two?" He asked, not quite believing. Buffy looked guilty, while Spike smirked, looking proud. Angel ran his hand through his hair. Cordelia wrapped the baby back up in his blanket and went into the lobby.  
  
"This is why we need your help." Cordelia told Buffy and Spike, ignoring their spat for the moment.  
  
"Who is this?" Buffy asked, looking at the baby.  
  
"This is Connor. Do you wanna hold him?" Cordelia introduced, glancing to Angel before handing the baby to Buffy at his nod. Buffy looked down into Connor's innocent face, and felt her eyes tearing. Spike felt his heart drop to his shoes as he stared at Buffy holding a baby. Angel was just staring at her, his son in her arms.  
  
"Why does he need protecting?" Spike wanted to know. He was itching for a fight. Cordelia and Angel were silent for a moment.  
  
"Because...He's my son." Angel answered, his voice loud in the quiet room. Cordelia took the baby from Buffy. Buffy just looked shocked. Spike was just as surprised.  
  
"Your son?" Buffy asked. She looked a little unsteady, and then slumped backwards. Spike was lucky enough to catch her before she hit the floor.  
  
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Angel sat near Buffy's bed, waiting for her to wake up. He couldn't believe that she had...with Spike of all people! When he had left her, this was not what he had wanted her to find.  
  
"I tried to tell you before you left. I don't get a normal life, Angel." Buffy spoke up, letting him know she was awake. "Apparently, I don't get to die either." She finished. Angel ignored her comment.  
  
"I just don't get it, Buffy. Why Spike?" Angel asked.  
  
"He was there for me. When I came back, he...he was the only one who knew what I was going through. He understands me. Better than I understand myself. We're alike, he and I. He loves me." Buffy said, finally admitting that Spike truely loved her. "I needed someone to make me wanna live." She continued, starting to cry.  
  
"Buffy, I..." Angel began.  
  
"It's ok, Angel. I'm dealing. Not well, but I'm dealing." Buffy told him. She straightened her hair,and wiped her eyes. "Let's go downstairs and you can tell me all about your son." She finished. 


	3. Do Tell

A/N: See, I told you I'd be updating often. Thanks for the feeback. I wasn't too sure this story was any good, but the 5 reviews I've received so far have changed my mind. Thanks, as always, to M for doing a great job as my beta. She's a goddess, I bow down at her feet. This chapter's a little short, but full of Spuffiness.  
  
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They entered the lobby to find Cordelia alone, feeding the baby. Buffy looked from Angel to Cordy and back.  
  
"Where is everyone?" Angel asked, taking the baby from Cordelia.  
  
"Fred's in her room. Gunn and Wes went home." She answered. Buffy walked over and stood next to Angel, looking at the baby.  
  
"Can I hold him again?" Buffy asked. Angel handed the baby to her silently. "Oh..." Buffy said, looking down at the baby.  
  
"Nothing beats baby snuggles, huh?" Cordelia spoke up.  
  
"He has your eyes." Buffy said, looking at Angel. Angel leaned over.  
  
"So he does." He replied, touching Connor on the cheek. This was the scene that Spike and Willow walked in on. Spike had checked on her and found her awake. He'd filled her in on what little he knew, the bit about the baby needing protecting and the boy being Angel's son. They both came into the room, Willow going over to Buffy and Angel to see Connor.  
  
"Hey Will. How are you feeling?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Better." Will replied, looking to Angel. She glanced at the baby, and then back to Angel. "If your his father, who's his mother?" Willow asked, without waiting for Angel to answer her first question. Buffy, Willow and Spike all turned to Cordelia, thinking that she might be the answer.  
  
"Oh no. I am not his mother." Cordelia replied to their stares. Angel sighed, almost wishing that Cordelia had been his mother.  
  
"Darla." Angel said.  
  
"What?" Spike, Buffy, and Willow all asked in unison, shocked.  
  
"Was that back when she and Dru were trying to drive you insane or whatever their soddin' plan was?" Spike asked, the first to recover. He had already known Darla was alive.  
  
"What the hell?" Buffy asked. "Darla is dead, you killed her. Willow and I both saw you." She said to Angel. Angel grimaced. Buffy was not going to be happy with this story, that's for sure.  
  
"This lawfirm, Wolfram and Hart, they brought her back to life. Only thing is, they brought her back as a human, dying from the same thing she had been when the Master made her a vampire over 400 years ago. The lawfirm knew I wouldn't let her die, so they got her to try to force me to make her a vampire again. To make me taste human blood. To get my perfect happiness and lose my soul." Angel took Connor from Buffy, and stared down at the infant. "They almost succeeded." He continued. "I finally refused, though. Lindsey, one of the lawyers, was in love with Darla. He tracked down someone who would make her a vampire. Dru." Buffy sat down. She was stunned. Angel cuddled his son, laying a sleeping Connor against his shoulder. "They held me down and forced me to watch as they changed her. She was ready to die. She'd made her peace." Angel's expression was pained. "After that, I went kind of mad. Fired everyone here, and helped Darla and Dru kill a bunch of those lawyers." Angel paused. Buffy looked horrified. Willow had her hand over her mouth. Spike was just surprised. He knew that Dru and Darla were running loose in L.A., but this was news to him. "I didn't do anything to them myself. I just locked them in a room with Darla and Dru. Just when I thought I couldn't get worse and still have my soul, I learned something. I learned that Wolfram and Hart's Home Office, some type of Hell, was here on Earth. I didn't know what to do. I came here, and Darla was waiting for me. I think you all guess what happened next." Angel finished up.  
  
"Boy, was she pissed when you didn't lose your soul." Cordelia commented, taking Connor from Angel, and setting him in his playpen. Angel looked sheepish.  
  
"The rest of the story is that she came back here a few weeks ago, pregnant and ready to deliver." Angel started to go on.  
  
"So where is the old bint? And Dru isn't hanging round is she?" Spike asked. Buffy looked surprised that he would ask about Dru.  
  
"I don't know where Dru is. And Darla is dust. Again. She had to kill herself so that Connor could be born." Angel answered his questions.  
  
"That's good." Spike replied. Angel gave him a look. "About Dru. I really don't fancy running into her while we're here. Especially after the last time I saw her." Spike finished.  
  
"What? You can't face her because she broke up with you?" Cordelia asked, not caring that she might upset Spike.  
  
"No. He can't face her because the last time he saw her, he tried to kill her." Buffy answered. It was Angel's turn to look shocked.  
  
"What?" Was all he could say.  
  
"She showed up, fresh from L.A. And she wanted her Spikey back." Buffy went on.  
  
"So why did you try to kill her? I mean, I know your twisted, but I didn't think you were that twisted." Cordelia wanted to know.  
  
"Killing Dru was going to be a present. For me. Cause that would be the night the Spike chained me up in the basement of his crypt, and professed his undying love." Buffy said, sounding bitter.  
  
"You chained her up? I take it back. You are that twisted." Cordelia said. Spike smirked, and Buffy groaned.  
  
"Why exactly are we here, Angel?" Buffy asked, changing the subject.  
  
"I wanted you to meet Connor. I want you to be ready if something should happen. I figured it was better for you to come here and see for yourselves. I'm not sure if you'd have believed me over the phone." Angel explained. Buffy nodded.  
  
"I'm beat. I think it's been a long night, and an equally long morning." Buffy said. She turned and headed up the stairs, Spike and Willow at her heels.  
  
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Willow said goodnight, and left Buffy and Spike standing alone in the hall. Spike was uncertain about what to do. Just sensing Angel's presence was enough to make him want Buffy. He had a need to prove that Angel no longer had a claim on her. He was torn between talking to her, and shagging her senseless. He chose the second option.  
  
Like I would have chosen anything else, he thought.  
  
Slowly, like a predator, Spike back Buffy up against the doorway to her room.Buffy slowly licked her lips. She knew that drove him crazy. And she knew what he was doing. She didn't care. She was desperate to make herself feel. Even if she was disgusted with herself. It was a feeling, wasn't it? It was a start. It would lead to more feelings, and soon she'd be able to handle the living part of being alive. Trying to ignore the fact that since her return from the land of the dead, Spike was the only thing that made her feel, Buffy anticipated his kiss. It wasn't what she expected. Instead of the bruising kiss she was anticpating, Spike kissed her gently. Like she was something fragile enough to cradle carefully in fear it might break.  
  
"I don't want it to be like before." Spike whispered, referring to their one night in that abandoned house. The one that now lay in shambles. Buffy wasn't sure what to make of this Spike. He wasn't supposed to be gentle. Picking her up before she could protest, Spike opened her door. "Invite me in, pet." He said, hoping she would. Otherwise, it would be a cold shower and a long day for him. The words hung there, Buffy knowing that they would never be able to go back to the way it was before if she invited him in. At this particular moment she wasn't caring at all about that. She was just tired of being numb.  
  
"Come in, Spike." Was all she was able to get out before his mouth covered hers. He kicked the door shut behind them, and in the darkness Buffy found herself full of feeling.  
  
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	4. Realizations and Goodbyes

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this story. This the final chapter. I'm sorry to say, there will be no sequel. I set this story up to fit in the mid-season break, so if you want a sequel, pop Gone or Lullaby into the vcr. I've truly enjoyed the feedback on this story, I've been blown away by the reviews. You guys rock! I'm issuing a slight tissue warning for this chapter. It made M, my beta, cry. Many, many thanks to her, as always. She was an inspiration for a lot of the tissue-y moment. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think.  
  
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Buffy awoke slowly, stretching a little. She stretched into the male body sharing her bed. He was sleeping, she noticed, as she began to panic. How could she let herself do this again?  
  
"Evening." Spike said, waking. He pulled her closer, and opened his eyes.  
  
"Spike." Buffy spoke up, getting his attention.  
  
"What, luv?" He replied.  
  
"This can't ever happen again." She told him quietly, her voice determined. Spike looked at her, his eyes filled with pain.  
  
"Why?" He wanted to know.  
  
"You know why. Stating the obvious would be overkill." Buffy explained, without really explaining.  
  
"Tell me the truth." He demaded, moving so that he pinned her to the bed.  
  
"That is the truth." Buffy maintained. Spike shook his head.  
  
"The truth is that you're running scared. You like the way I make you feel." Spike said. To emphasize his point, he shift slightly so that his pelvis rubbed hers. Buffy moaned against her will. "See? You're too scared to admit that you like me, and you like what I do to you." His eyes went from angry, to loving. "Your scared becuase I'm the only person in this world that can make you feel something. Even if it's revulsion, or disgust. You think that I can't possibly love you, and even if I did, anything we had would end with me leaving you in the dust. Just like all the others who left. I'm not the wandering type, pet. I loved Dru for over a hundred years." Buffy was crying by this point. Spike was never supposed to know she was the vulnerable one. "Am I right?" He asked in a whisper. She nodded. "Then let me love you." He replied, kissing her.  
  
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Downstairs, Willow and Fred were chatting, while Cordy and Angel were debating over what outfit to dress Connor in. Gunn and Wesley were taking out weapons and cleaning them.  
  
"He's a boy. He's not wearing that." Angel disagreed.  
  
"Angel, were in the new millenium. Don't be old fashioned. He'll look so cute in this." Cordelia tried to convince him.  
  
"No son of mine is wearing yellow." Angel replied. He tossed the bright yellow romper to Cordy.  
  
"Fine, then don't blame me if your son's clothes are out of style." She huffed, folding the romper, and setting it down.  
  
"Cordelia, He's just a baby." Wesley interjected, over hearing their conversation. She sighed, and handed Angel a blue one. Buffy and Spike finally joined the group in the midst of the romper arguement.  
  
"What's the what?" Buffy asked, wanting to know what was going on. She leaned against the counter.  
  
"Well, so far, Angel and Cordy have managed to decide what Connor should wear without any bloodshed." Wesley said, his tone dry.  
  
"Speaking of Connor, can I hold him again?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I never figured you for a baby person, Buffy." Cordy said, snapping the last button on Connor's romper and handing him to her.  
  
"I'm not. Not really. I just figured that I'll never have my own. So I get my snuggles through someone else's baby. Here, it's Connor. When Dawn's old enough, if I'm still around, it'll be hers. But no babies for Buffy." She answered, sounding and looking sad. An uncomfortable silence spread through the room as they all realized the Slayer would die again. It might even be soon. Buffy's eyes welled up with unshed tears.  
  
"Buffy?" Willow asked, concerned. Spike was worried also, and moved closer to her.  
  
"I'm fine. Just a heavy dose of reality is all." She told them. Buffy would have said more, but at that moment Cordelia shrieked, and would have slumped to the floor if Angel hadn't managed to catch her. All though she didn't slip into unconsciousness, Cordy murmured something about a couple of teenagers before it turned into nonesense. "What just happened here?" Buffy questioned. She was ingnored as Angel scooped Cordy in his arms.  
  
"Fred, go get a wet wash cloth. Gunn, Wes, help me get her to my room. Buffy, Willow, bring the baby." Angel directed. Spike stayed put as the others in the lobby scurried off to do Angel's bidding.  
  
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Cordy opened her eyes slowly. The pain in her head was splitting. It hurt so bad she could hardly see.  
  
"Hey." Angel said, his voice soft.  
  
"Hey." Cordy replied. Her throat felt like she'd swallowed a porcupine. She refused to let on how bad she felt. Trying to get up, Cordy fumbled with the blankets.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked, sounding upset. Angel pushed her back onto the bed.  
  
"Getting up. We've got work to do. A vision to work on." She protested.  
  
"Your not going anywhere. Tell me what the vision was about. Then you're going to get some rest." Angel admonished her.  
  
"But..." Cordy replied, her voice feeble sounding. He silenced her with a look. Reluctantly, she told him quickly about her vision. The two teenagers in an alley. A vampire attack from the way it looked. He smiled, and smoothed her hair back.  
  
"Get some rest." He ordered, standing up. There was a knock at the door. Angel answered it.  
  
"I just wanted to see how Cordy was doing." Buffy said. Angel let her in, excusing himself. He went downstairs, and rallied the group to work on the vision.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked, speaking directly to Cordy this time.  
  
"I have a question. About something you said yesterday." Cordy replied.  
  
"Shoot." Buffy answered, settling in the chair Angel had vacated.  
  
"What you said....about dying. Were you telling the truth?" She wanted to know. Desparately needed to know.  
  
"Yeah. It was very peaceful. I was happy, and there wasn't any pain." Buffy told her. They were silent for a moment, and then Buffy continued with a question of her own. "Why do you want to know?" Cordelia's eyes met Buffy's, and Buffy raised her hand to her mouth. "Oh God. You're dying." She exclaimed with certainty. Cordy nodded, her eyes tearing up. The pounding in her head worsened. "How?" Buffy whispered the question, afraid of hearing the answer.  
  
"The visions." Cordy managed. The threatening tears overflowed. "I'm so scared Buffy. I don't wanna die. I'm not ready yet." Cordy cried. Buffy reached out, and took her hand.  
  
"Do they know?" She asked. Cordy shook her head.  
  
"They can't. They'll take the the visions. I'll lose my purpose. They wouldn't need me." Cordy said, being stubborn.  
  
"You'd be alive." Buffy pointed out.  
  
"Without my visions, there's no way for me to help. I want to help people. I got stuck in a never ending vision last year, and I really saw the suffering that people go through. I want to help them, Buffy. You'd do the same. You've done the same. At the cost of your life. This is my path. I've chosen to die." Cordy refuted Buffy's arguement. Buffy sighed, knowing that Cordy had her. She decided to comfort her instead.  
  
"When I was sixteen, and Giles told me the Master was going to kill me, I didn't know what to do." Buffy began. "I was only sixteen years old. I didn't want to die. I was so scared. Then I thought, what about all those people who would die if I didn't help them. So I went. I died. I went to my death on purpose, with the noble idea that I was saving lives. I wouldn't change it, not even now. I get what your going through. If you need to talk, you can call me in Sunnydale at any time." She finished. Buffy got up to leave, after squeezing Cordy's hand.  
  
"One more thing, Buffy." Cordy spoke up, stopping Buffy in the doorway. Buffy raised her eyebrows. "They can never know." Cordy finished. Buffy nodded, and shut the door behind her.  
  
In the hall, she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. Tears streamed down her face. She and Cordy may have never been especially close, but she was a friend. She wasn't sure she could stand to lose anymore friends. She cried becuase she this would be the last time she'd see Cordy alive again.  
  
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Awhile later, the group was heading back in from saving the teenagers from Cordy's vision. Angel, Gunn and Wesley set to putting the weapons back in their places. Buffy and Willow chatted with Fred, comparing notes on the fight. Spike remained silent and skulky in the corner of the room.  
  
"We're gonna head back to Sunnydale in a little bit, Angel. As soon as we get our things together. We'll be ready if you need us to help with your son." Buffy told him after the group had quieted down. He nodded, anxious to check on Cordelia.  
  
"I'm glad you came." Angel told her. She smiled, her first real smile in a very long time.  
  
"So am I." She replied, giving Spike a glance out of the corner of her eye.  
  
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Later that night, Spike, Buffy and Willow were on the road back to Sunnydale. Willow was sleeping in the back, after convincing Buffy to take the front. Buffy sat next to Spike in silence as the miles rolled by. As soon as he was sure Willow was asleep, he spoke up.  
  
"So what now, pet?" He asked her .  
  
"Now, I'm thinking I need to get a job. And to take better care of Dawn. And to be a better friend to Willow." Buffy answered. And make plans to attend another funeral, she thought, picturing Cordelia's tear streaked face.  
  
"And us?" Spike asked. Silence reigned throughout Spike's old, worn out DeSoto once more. 


End file.
